Will I or not?

How long have I thought of writing something and not doing it? All these months hundred events occurred but where to start? I have not idea at all. What should I say? I don’t have a clue. Should I say something for that matter? Am I obliged to do it? Of course not. So, what pushes one to feel compelled to put pen to paper (sort of) to do something?

A year is about to start, yes another one. I ought to feel gratitude that I am still here, alive and well….Oh yes, gratitude the new buzz word. You have to grateful for everything nowadays. Like a prayer at the beginning of every meal. There is something noble in that except the fact that I do not have a hint of religion inside me.

Indeed, we forget how very fortunate we are. I should speak for myself. I am not complaining and am very lucky to be where I am presently. Good health and be able to attend many tasks and travel and above all to have a companion with whom I can exchange some meaningful conversations.

Just going back to the word gratitude. I ask the question of a person who has hardly any food to eat, living in a war zone without knowing whether she will be alive tomorrow or in a few hours, whose partner just got shot, whose child or children have been blown up by a drone while going to school, who has to walk to fetch some clean water…would this person feel any gratitude?

Or a person who lives under the bridges and has to be beg for for every cent, who lost his job, has no family. Would this person feel gratitude? So, I truly wonder about this meaning. Is this because I am doing Ok and not like the beggar in the street or the person in war ravaged zone? Is it because I am lucky to be where I am and be what I am?

I really don’t know in the end if it is for my position in life that I am grateful and better off than someone else. Is it really gratitude or just selfishness?

Anyway, I was just going to muse on my procrastinating and my reluctance to start writing something. It is really funny how easy it is to deviate and follow a different path while writing. Words take you on a journey and lead some weird directions and at times you look at it a have to marvel at the potential of thinking and how the most extraordinary adventures happen. Let’s see what happens next time I feel like writing something….not too long I hope till I feel the need to do so and wonder about whether I will or will not.

Till next time.


2 thoughts on “Will I or not?

    1. Yes, I felt the urge to say something. And it just came. I am so inconsistent.There are so may things to say that at time I feel I am stuck. But that is ok too.


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